Obsessions Aren't Healthy for A Terrorist
by narutobleachfan101
Summary: During the preparations for the shogun's birthday celebration, Gintoki has an unexpected stalker that's been following him. Not that he minds...Until the stalker turns obsessed. What will become of this twisted relationship?
1. Strawberry Milk and A Little Warning

Gintoki: I can't believe we'll be on the big screen now. I just hope it doesn't be one of those gag episodes we usually play on the audience. It's a pain in the ass to respond all those hate mail.

Author: Yeah, but what can you do? I mean, that's what you guys are famous for. The usual fans will understand, but the newcomers might feel like they got ripped off.

Gintoki: Don't worry, we made sure the movie will be awesome. You know how Shōnen Jump movies are these days.

Author: That's true. (Notices the readers.) Oh snap, forgot there were people here. Uh, you want to do to the disclaimer?

Gintoki: What? Are you crazy, woman? (Is handed ¥1,000,000) Okay, this is narutobleachfan101's** Disclaimer: "I do not own the series, _Gintama_, for it's Sorachi-sensei's wonderful idea."**

Author: Wanna go for some sake?

Gintoki: Sure, but you're buying. (Walks out.)

Author: (Walks back in.) By the way, this is a yaoi fic. Enjoy!

* * *

"Let's see, I fixed the old lady's roof," the wavy-haired samurai said, walking down the streets of Edo. "All that's left is to get some strawberry milk." Heading to the store and strolling through the refrigerated aisles, he found out they ran out of it. Thanks to that, he went a crazy spaz attack.

"I never seen you so crazy for a carton of strawberry milk," a voice spoke into Gin's ear, making the freelancer stop all movement at once.

"What are you doing here, _Takasugi_?" Sakata really didn't want to deal with this person right now, especially when he was running low on his sugar needs.

"I'm just stopping by, and I heard a festival will be going on here soon," Takasugi answered cooly, holding a pipe close to his face. That was true, considering there was birthday celebration for the shogun coming up soon, and Kami-sama knows what this terrorist will do then.

"Why warn me, knowing I might sabotage your plan?"

"Because I want to see you squirm, now that knowledge is stuck in your head."

"You--" When he finally turned his head, Gintoki didn't find the ronin there. "Where did the guy go?" Scratching his silver hair, he shrugged and remembered that he needed to buy some strawberry milk. "Dammit!"

* * *

"Why are we having a private meeting, Hijikata-san? Shouldn't everyone know this important news as well?" Okita asked bluntly.

"Nah, they're just going to ignore us," Hijikata responded, taking a puff of his cancer stick. "Besides, it's concerning a certain terrorist." Sliding something towards his two fellow workers, removing his hand revealed a photograph of Takasugi and his fellow companions. "We've been receiving news that he and his company were spotted near the outskirts of the city."

Sougo took a good, long look before saying, "So?"

Hijikata pulled out his sword, ready to slice the sadist in half. "'So' my ass!" Unfortunately, he was held back by Kondo.

"Toushi! We don't need anymore violence today! You already sent ten of our associates to the hospital earlier!"

"Shut it! I don't want to deal with this man's crap anymore!" Meanwhile, Sougo laid on his side, smirking to no end at his vice commander's anger. "I'll wipe that smirk off your face!"

* * *

"Shinsuke-sama, are you sure about this plan? I'm weary of the extra player in this game," Bansai advised Takasugi. They stood in the full moon's light, standing on the patio of their hideout, which had a great view of nighttime Edo.

Takasugi, not looking into the musician's eyes, took another sip of his sake. Glancing into the cup, he said, "It will. For now, let them enjoy this false peace."


	2. There's a Storm Coming Soon

Saya: (Is watching tv and turns around) Oh, you're back for the second chapter? I can't help but say your dedication to this story is amazing. A little warning for you guys: I don't have much time to focus on writing, since I'm stuck in schol most of the time. I'll be lucky enough when I can update. Anyway, enough rambling. (Takes out a paper) Here's the disclaimer for the day: I don't own the epic series Gintama nor its characters. If I did, well...let's say the past would have been long revealed then.

Gintoki: So, where am I heading today author?

Saya: You'll find out you lazy bum.

Gin: Hopefully it ain't stupid.

Saya: (Whacks Gin on the head) Enjoy!

* * *

**_There's a Storm Coming Soon_**

"Gin-san, did you really get hired, by the Shogun's guards, to be his bodyguard for his birthday celebration?" Shinpachi stood next to the lazy bum's desk, handing a cup of tea to him.

Putting down his Jump, Gin stared at his glasses-wearing assistant with a fishy look. "Yeah, any questions?"

Slamming his hands on the desk, Shinpachi yelled, "Are you nuts?! You know how much pressure there is to protect that man?! Isn't that the Shinsengumi's job in the first place?!"

"Stop your yapping, Shinichi--"

"It's Shinpachi."

"Anyway, we're getting paid about..." Narrowing his eyebrows, he took out his notebook, flipping through the pages.

"Where did you get that?"

"I got it for free after helping this old lady, so I thought this might come in handy now," he said collectively, then exclaiming in joy when the samurai found it. "Here it is! It pays for ¥1,000,000. You can get that new CD Otsu-san released you always wanted."

Shinpachi stayed silent, until he quietly agreed and went to his own thing.

"Gin-chan, do you think we might get those privileges the corrupted cops usually get at the festival?" Kagura appeared out of the closet, hopping down to the ground.

"Maybe, depends how much effort we put into this."

Kagura, followed by Sadaharu, went to the door. "I'm going out to get some more groceries," she told, closing the door behind them.

Gin waved his hand while reading his precious comic bible. "See ya later."

"I need to leave early today. I need to help Big Sis," Shinpachi said, also leaving too.

"Finally, I though they would never leave," the leader of Yorozuya said, heading towards the refrigerator, now stocked with many cartons of strawberry milk. "Let's see...oh! I see a parfait with my name on it!" Taking it out, the sugar lover scooped the cherry of the whipped cream and went into his mouth. While distracted, he didn't notice that someone entered the room.

"I can't believe you let your guard down so much, though, I'm jealous of your confidence and trustworthiness of others."

Frowning, Gintoki opened his eyes, to see the terrorist sitting in his chair. "What the hell are you doing here? Are you here for free food?"

"Just here for a walk. Lately, there have been more Shinsengumi on patrol."

"So what, you're using my place as your new hideout now? Isn't that kinda lame for a villain like yourself?"

"It's not of those comics you've been rotting your brain with."

"Hey, don't insult the greatness of Jump. It provides insights on human life," the wavy-haired man said.

"Like what? How to save your friend from the dark side?" Takasugi smirked when Gin ranted how it might help out later on. "Anyway, what ever happened to the Shiroyasha I knew?"

_Is that why he's been popping up lately?_ Gin began to feel weary of the dangerous ronin, but wondered why he didn't kick Takasugi out yet.

"If you're wondering why I ditched you guys during the war, don't. You won't get the answer. I only left for personal reasons," Gin replied calmly, putting his parfait down. Sitting on the couch, he stared at the ceiling with burning crimson eyes. "If anything, I wish that incident ever happened."

"..." Takasugi glanced at the man with blank eyes. He didn't expect the fallen warrior to be melancholic, though many things have happened in the past years, so he must had time to think about this. Unlike him, the terrorist thought about getting back at society, maybe even the world.

"Anyway, I don't feel like dealing with you now, so if you can be so kind, leave." Gin got up angrily, heading towards his room and slamming the shoji screen door behind him.

Much to his dismay, Takasugi thought he could spend more time tweaking that man's nerves, but all he ended up was making Gintoki reminisce the horrible past he tried to forget. With a sigh, he left, but not before swiping that parfait from the coffee table.

* * *

_"Why couldn't you have been normal?!"_ Gin started to sweat in his sleep, twitching his eyebrows.

_"'Greatest swordsman!' This kid can't even hold a sword for crap!"_ Soon, he slept fitfully in the futon.

_"Don't follow me. Please, for yours and my sake, live your life not for revenge, but for love. Thank you, for everything, Sakata Gintoki."_ Opening his eyes, he bolted upright. His chest inflated and out rapidly, and his hand grasped his silver hair tightly.

"Oh, it was a dream," Gintoki said with relief, but those haunted memories of the past he ever so tried to push back, plagued his mind like crazy. Without realizing it, tears started to fall from his eyes, hitting his blanket.

"Why-why am I crying over something so stupid?" Gin stuttered, and finally, wailed in the palm of his hands. "Why couldn't I have died on that day?! I don't deserve to live!"

_"Never forget: a samurai shouldn't cry. However, for this special occasion, you can borrow my shoulder."_ Right now, Gintoki really needed that shoulder so badly.

"You got to pull yourself Gin, you can't cry now. Kagura-chan might hear," he told to himself. Wiping away the droplets from his red, puffy eyes, he sighed and laid back down, trying to think of anything else. Staring at the full moon, he closed his eyes, with the image of Shouyou-sensei comforting him.

However, the Chinese girl stood against the shoji screen door. Hearing her boss sobbing made her nervous, and made her way to the closet, eating a strip of pickled seaweed. On the roof, a single man sat on the shingles, listening to the silver-haired man's howls while staring at the moon.

* * *

For a few more days, this process continued and it really worried Kagura. Now, it's the second-to-last day to prepare for the shogun's birthday festival, but instead of helping out the district, Gin got his scooter out of the shop.

Kagura, dressed in her pajamas, asked while rubbing her eyes tiredly, "Where are you going, Gin-chan?"

Gin stared at the Yato, putting his helmet on and adjusting his goggles. "I'm going out for a while. I'll be back around midnight or early tomorrow morning," he said calmly, then drove off on his motorcycle-scooter hybrid.

Kagura frowned, then noticed that Shinpachi was strolling towards her. "Oi, Shinpachi! We need to discuss something about Gin-chan!"

"Yeah," the straight man said. "Gin-san has been acting strangely. Even yesterday, when I was talking about the new CD, he didn't say or insult anything about it."

Kagura crossed her arms. "That's because no one cares to what you have to say, Shinpachi."

"What's that?!"

"What's all the racket out here?" Otose came out, with lighted cigarette between her index and middle fingers. "Did something happen again?"

"No, Otose-san, it's just--"

"That bum's hasn't been acting like himself this past week?"

"Yeah granny!" Kagura threw her hand in the air.

"Wait," Shinpachi said, "how did you know that Gin-san is behaving weirdly?"

Otose took a puff, and answered, "Yesterday, he paid the last three months and this month's rent, with real money." That shocked the two teens; Gin always makes lame excuses to pay his rent later, but to pay exactly on the due date **and** with real money...

"Did Gin-san took some new medication or something?"

"No, that's just it. When I asked what has gotten into him, he just said, 'Nothing. I felt like it.' He suggested that he would help Tama-san cleaning the bar too."

The three of them thought of numerous possibilities why the wavy-haired man did all of this weird deeds. Kagura thought he might be a robot in disguise from a distant planet. In Shinpachi's head, Gin-san was pictured with a woman, but shook his head otherwise. Otose-san believed that the samurai had a secret, permanent job, but who would want to hire a lazy bum?

"I can't think of anything," Shinpachi admitted, as the women agreed.

"What's going on here, Shin-chan?" The straight man turned around, and saw his older sister, carrying groceries in her hand, with Kyubei next to her.

"Bis sis! Kyubei-san! What are you doing here?"

"I was helping your sister shop for dinner tonight," the girl samurai responded, and Shinpachi paled at the thought.

_Why did Kyubei-san agreed to help Sis with dinner?_ Before he goes back home, he needed to fill his stomach.

"Bis Sis! Gin-chan hasn't been himself lately!" Kagura told Otae in a worried and childish voice. "Do you think something happened to Gin-chan?!"

Otae put her chin on top of her index finger, telling the trio that earlier this week, Gin-san helped her out to pick a perfect birthday present for the shogun. "He even paid the gift himself." Otae turned to her best friend, asking, "Did you notice that anything strange has been going with Gin-san, Kyu-chan?"

Kyubei nodded, and replied, "He stopped by, asking if there was anything he can help out at the dojo. Despite the fact we didn't, Gin-san stayed and helped us train the students."

"Gin-san suggested that he would go out with me sometime," Sa-chan said, appearing out of nowhere. This caused Otae to punch her, and she yelled, "What was that for?!"

"You surprised us, Sarutobi-san," she said with an innocent smile. Then, Hasegawa and Katsura, who was dressed in a soon joined them.

"What's with the crowd so early in the morning?" He asked, and Shinpachi explained to both of them, that Gintoki is doing these generous stunts and no one knows why. Madao responded, "Oh yeah! Gin-san pitched in with an interview of mine, and now, I'm stuck with the job."

"What job did you exactly apply for?"

Madao showed a piece of paper, with his photo on the right-hand corner, smiling with happiness. "Gin-san made me get my first job back!"

"Woah," Shinpachi commented. "That's something..."

Hasegawa soon turned to the ronin. "What about you, Zura-chi? What did Gin-san assist you in?"

"It's not 'Zura-chi,' it's Katsura, and Gintoki aided me capture one of my ex-soldiers the other day," the former samurai said, explaining also that it wasn't a small task too. "He left right away when we got the person though."

"Hm, this is strange," the barkeeper said, taking a puff of the cancer stick.

"I didn't know there's a riot going on here," someone said, and everyone saw Hijikata, Sougo, and Kondo walking towards them. Shinpachi shooed Katsura to hide, but he ended up as Captain Katsura. Kondo tried to attach himself to Otae, but he got double-punched by her and Kyubei.

"What's going on here?" The demon vice captain asked, and Shinpachi, again, clarified that the freelancer's been working and helping out everyone with a reliable air around him. Though no one, not even he or Kagura, knows why.

"Danna was helping me out with torturing a certain someone," Okita put his input in, smirking evilly. "When we were done, he treated me to a parfait."

"What?!" Kagura grabbed Sougo's collar, shaking him back and forth. "Why would Gin-chan feed you?! You're nothing but a mean, corrupted cop!"

"At least I was treated with all the sweets I can eat," Okita admitted, and Shinpachi had to hold back the Chinese girl from unleashing her full anger on the man.

"What did Gin do for you, Kondo?" Otae asked while beating the crap out of the commander without remorse.

"He gave me some advice on how to woo you, Otae-san! And I thought it would might work," the gorilla yelled. "Apparently, I have to wait for another day then!" Soon, he got more of a beating than usual.

Hijikata replied, "That bum's been buying me pack of cigarettes every past hour, and surprisingly, they were my favorite and expensive brand."

"Is it Christmas already?" Kagura received no's from everyone, and was slightly disappointed.

"So, no one knows why Gin-san is doing this?" Everyone shook their head, and Shinpachi sighed, continuing, "Maybe he has a lot of pressure on his mind. He did get hired to be the shogun's bodyguard, so he might of done all of those things to relieve the pressure."

Everyone stayed silent until they, minus Shinpachi and Kagura, screamed, "'Shogun's bodyguard?!'"

"How the hell did that lazy ass get hired for that?!" Hijikata thought it was the Shinsengumi's job to protect the shogun, the most important person in all of Japan. If the shogun gets killed during the celebration, he will slice and dice the bum to pieces.

Otae went the most ballistic. "Why, out of all people, would anyone hire Gin-san for a dangerous job like that?!"

"I don't know, sis," the glasses-wearing man answered. "That's what Kagura-chan and I've been trying to find out, but we got nothing." Then, Shinpachi turned towards the Shinsengumi, asking, "How come you're here, Hijikata-san?"

Taking a smoke out of his coat pocket, he tried to find a lighter, but Hasegawa lighted it for him. Between puffs, the chain-smoker said, "We've been told that this ronin criminal--" He held a wanted poster for everyone to see and gasp. "Takasugi Shinsuke has been spotted in this particular area lately."

Shinpachi, Kagura, and Katsura gulped and stayed in the same place while everyone else crowded around the photo. The trio gathered in a small circle, and discussed within it.

"Katsura-san, did you know he came back to town?"

"No, I thought he was in space, Shinpachi-kun."

"Why in space, Zura?"

"It's not 'Zura,' it's 'Katsura,' leader, and I heard that he might have been dealing some sort of agreement with the Harusame pirates."

"But why make a deal when Takasugi couldn't uphold his last deal with them?"

"I don't know, and that's what worries me," Katsura said anxiously. "Anyway, we should join the others before they become suspicious of us." They all agreed, joining the others.

"Anyway, what should we do for Gin-san? He said that he'll be back by later tonight, or tomorrow morning," Kagura informed the others.

"Set him up with a blind date?" Shinpachi suggested, though he didn't expect everyone to agree on the idea. "Are you really going to do that?!"

"Why not? It's what we can do for Danna, after all he did for us this week," Okita said happily. Soon, the gang started working on who might be willing to date the lazy bum and not run away from the first sight of him.


	3. A Visit Gone Right, Bad, and Left

Saya: (Scratches head) Hello my dear readers. I hope you're enjoying this story as much as the next person who encounters this piece of work. Anyway, the plot bunnies thought this would be a nice addition to the yaoi mix, seeing we don't see much of TakasugiXGintoki around these parts.

Gin: But out of all people, why that asshole?

Saya: Well, that asshole is one of those people that isn't your friend, and wants to kill you. I thought it would be more interesting if he liked you instead of trying to bloody murder you all the time.

Gin: Well, what's life without enemies?

Saya: You have a point, but it has nothing to do with my philosophy of life.

Gin: I guess it can't be helped...Etto, Saya-san here doesn't own the Gintama series--which is a relief--

Saya: (Hits Gintoki on the head)

Gin: I'm sorry--Anyway, Sorachi-sensei created this series.

Saya: Enjoy...Gin, buy me a strawberry parfait.

Gin: I just bought you one yesterday. It's your turn to buy the treats.

Saya: Fine...

* * *

**_A Visit Gone Right, Then Wrong, and Took a Left Turn_**

The wind blowing against his face never felt so good. Driving his scooter, Gintoki noticed the change of scenery. He has gotten so used to the high-tech city he lives in, the countryside of the Japan seemed so foreign.

_Almost there,_ Gin thought, picking up the speed. Soon, he found a little shop on the way. _Guess it wouldn't hurt to get something to eat here._ Slowing down, the shop was wooden and old, making Gin appreciate it. Entering the place, he found a young girl behind the counter.

"Excuse miss," he said, gaining the clerk's attention. "I need a little snack."

"Sure!" The employee headed towards the back, and reentered with a sandwich in her hand. Providing her customer with the food, she asked, "Is there anything else you need for today?"

"If isn't too much of a hassle, can I buy some of those flowers I saw at the back of the store from you?"

The employee almost lost her balance, and said, "Really?! Are you sure?!" Gintoki nodded happily, handing ¥5000 to her.

"You can keep the change," he said joyfully. "Though, I'm in a rush--"

"No problem! Follow me!" The girl led Gin to the back of the store. With a pair of hedge clippers, she asked, "What kind do you want?"

"It doesn't matter," he told her. "It can be whatever flowers you want."

"All right," she said, trimming the stems of the flowers and putting them in a paper cone. "This is the first time anyone wants to buy flowers from me in so long. Thank you so much sir."

"No problem." He grabbed the flowers gently. "You'll get more customers soon, trust me." With that, Gin bid her goodbye and started up his ride. At a slow pace, he left with the flowers pressing against his chest. For a few more minutes, Gin saw an old torii and slammed his foot down on the brakes.

"Here it is," he said gently, taking out the flower bouquet out of his jacket. Parking his scooter behind a bush, he ascended the stairs as a warm wave of nostalgia coursed through his body. Finally, at the top, he stared at the burned temple. Moss grew over the destroyed property, and dragonflies hovered over the pond.

"It's so peaceful here," Gintoki commented, strolling to the side and seeing a sword sticking upward made him sad and happy. Sad that he remembered whose grave it was made for, and happy that no one defiled the memorial.

Sitting in front of the object, he said, "Hey sensei, it's been a long time. I got you a present, and hoped isn't a sappy one." Gintoki positioned the flowers on the resting place.

"You may not know it, but my life has gotten more exciting than ever. I met so many interesting people, and managed to get in trouble too.

"There's this one time where I was looking for a carton of strawberry milk with these two kids I work with, Shinpachi and Kagura, and we ended up fighting with the Shinsengumi and everyone else over the last one. I was banned from there for two weeks!

"By the way, when we meet again, I gotta introduce to Jump. It's the greatest thing mankind has ever witnessed. I wished I could be those shinigami in Bleach; they have cool swords, and the weapons can transform too!

"My luck with women hasn't gotten any better. I need advice, cause there's this one girl I really like, but she's on television and pretty famous. One day, I hope that she'll notice me, not as a nobody, but someone everyone loves."

With a sigh, he got up and cleaned off the dust from his clothes. "I better get going," Gintoki said, "I promised my friends I would head back by tonight or so. It was nice seeing you again, sensei." Setting his hand inside his coat, he walked away from the grave. Though, there was something different when he arrived at the torii.

"What a sappy speech," someone insulted. "I can't believe you even brought flowers for sensei too."

Glaring at the man, who was leaning against the column, Gintoki said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Uh, not really," Gin said in a huff.

"Well, I was paying Shouyou-sensei a visit. Though, I didn't expect to run into you here."

"Me neither. Still, you've been appearing almost everywhere I go--" Gintoki gave Shinsuke a suspicious glance. "Are you stalking me?"

"Who in the right mind would stalk someone lazy and carefree as you?"

"I don't know, desperate women?" Gin suggested, making the other man chuckle.

"I see you haven't lost your sense of humor. Though I'm not sure it's a good thing."

"Whatever," Gin said indifferently. "See you later stalker."

Takasugi stepped forward, and said emotionlessly, "I didn't think you'd be the kind that would cry themselves to sleep."

Gin widened his eyes, and turned around to see the terrorist smirking. "How-how did you--"

"I was on a stroll during the night, and heard something louder than my own thoughts. Finally, I recognized that voice belonged to you. Any particular reason why?" Soon, something swung at lighting speed, but missed the target, who ducked in time. Takasugi glanced up at the wooden sword that made a huge chip in the torii, then stared at the man, who looked seriously pissed off.

With sharp-piercing eyes, Gintoki spat, "Screw you Takasugi. I was in a great mood until you showed up." Removing his weapon from the pole, he aimed it at his former friend's face. "Why are you always bothering me wherever I go?"

Takasugi shrugged straightforwardly. "Don't ask me. Though--" Takasugi got up, grabbing the wooden sword with an iron grip, stared into the crimson orbs. "I don't really mind seeing your angry face every time we meet."

Gintoki frowned, finding the shorter man's face being too close for comfort. "What the hell are you saying?"

Takasugi smirked, seizing silver-haired man's chin with his other hand. "I'm saying I might like you." Soon, his lips smashed against Gin's, eagerly devouring its sweetness. Despite Gin's struggling, Takasugi kneed him in the crotch, causing Gin to open his mouth and Takasugi had full access to savor every part of the cavern.

"Mmph!" Gin bit the invading tongue, resulting Takasugi to release the man from his grasp. Gin, panting, stared at the man with confused eyes.

The terrorist narrowed his eyebrows, but regained that smirk, licking his lips. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you enjoyed that."

Gintoki yelled in rage, "Fuck you!" Dashing down the staircase, he took his scooter from its hiding place, driving out of there at a supersonic speed. As he saw the silver samurai sped off, Takasugi couldn't help but snigger.

"I can't wait for more moments like that to happen soon," the man said pervertedly. Soon, a huge ship hovered over the temple. Boarding the aircraft, he saw by an orange-haired teen leaning against the wall.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Takasugi said to the person.

"It's not everyday you agree to a deal with a ronin," Kamui commented with a smile. "Though, I never knew you were _friends_ with the samurai down there."

Takasugi lifted an eyebrow, wondering if this pipsqueak has been watching them from the ship, especially the way he emphasized the word "Friends." With a shrug, he answered, "He's the one I told you about."

Kamui opened his perfect blue colored orbs. "Oh really? I can't wait to meet him again."

"'Again?'"

"I met him in Yoshiwara that used to be ran by Housen, but he was defeated by him."

"Oh? The Yato King, whose strength is equivalent to your father's?"

"Yes, and apparently, my little sister is under his care."

"Huh, I can't believe how many people are swayed by his charm. A Yato, Yagyu samurai, ninjas...the list goes on..."

"Well, that's the whole point of your plan, right?"

Takasugi took a puff from his pipe. "Yes, it is."

Kamui snickered. "I can't wait for the festival."

* * *

Gin's mind was acting like a broken record. The memory of Takasugi kissing him repeated over and over, and it freaked him that he would do such an action. He was almost home, but he should come home relaxed, not flustered. So, the only reasonable thing to do is maybe pay a visit to Tsukuyo, Hinowa, and Seita, and invite them for the festival. Liking the sound of the plan, he headed for Yoshiwara.

Gintoki traveled down the elevator, and seeing the city blasted by the sun made him glad that he met Seita on the surface. The doors opened, and that feeling disappeared when he was ambushed by many women.

"Gintoki-sama! We haven't seen you for so long!"

"Do you want a night you'll never forget?"

"I can make all of your wildest fantasies come true."

"Shut up!" Gin said, as he walked in the streets. "Maybe later, but not now!" Despite this, they wouldn't leave his side.

"What are you all doing?" They all turned their heads, to see a blonde woman smoking an antique pipe.

"Tsukuyo-sama! Sorry to swipe your customer away!" The women backed away, but Tsukuyo denied that the man was a customer. "We'll see you later Gintoki-sama!" The courtesans left the two to be.

"Thanks, I thought they were going to rip me to pieces," Gin said, as they walked down the street.

"Well, our businesses are going slow lately, so they're acting desperate," Tsukuyo explained. "Anyway, how's the surface world? I haven't seen you for a long time."

"It's okay I guess, though we're holding a festival for the shogun's birthday. Do you want to celebrate? I was thinking about inviting Seita and Hinowa."

Tsukuyo smiled. "I guess, and I'm pretty sure the other two wouldn't mind also."

Gin showed a small smile. "Do you have anything I can help out with? You know, serve customers, pour drinks for corrupted politicians?"

Tsukuyo almost dropped her pipe after hearing Gin, and asked in a surprised voice, "Why? What's the occasion?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just need to get my mind off of something," he said indifferently.

"Well, I'm not sure who would want to hire a guy to be an escort, but I'll let you know. Anyway, we're here." The pair arrived at Hinowa's place, and found the mother and child laughing.

"Ara, if isn't Gin-san," Hinowa said, as Seita beamed with happiness, rushing towards the man.

"Gin-san!" Seita hugged Gintoki happily, as the taller man ruffled his hair dotingly. "I though you forgotten about us!"

Gin lifted the boy into the air, spinning him around. "How could I forget a squirt like you?" Seita laughed gaily while the two women stared at the happy sight in awe. They never seen the man like this, though it was nice change from him being a lazy, sarcastic bum.

"Oh, by the way, Hinowa," Gin called out the popular escort's name, gaining her attention. "You want to come to a festival we're having on the surface. You and Seita-kun can come if you want."

Seita said joyously, "Sure! Mom, can we? Please?"

Hinowa smiled, responding, "Sure, I don't mind."

"Also, do you think I can fill in for somebody?"

Hinowa raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"No reason," he responded casually. "Just want to help out."

Tsukuyo whispered into Hinowa's ear, "That's what he told earlier. I don't know why he's being so generous though."

"Maybe he did something wrong, and wants to right it."

"What? Can't I be kind occasionally?" The two women flinched, wondering if Gin had heard them.

"Well, I think we have an opening, but are you okay with--"

"Other men touching my body and making lewd comments? Yeah, I can deal with it. Besides, I'll just bust their jaw open if they try to pull something," Gin replied easily.

Tsukuyo and Hinowa gave each other nervous glances before Hinowa answered, "Sure. Tsukuyo-san will help you dress attractively over there."

Settling Seita down, much to his dismay, Gin said, "Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I promise that if I can't be back soon, I'll buy you all the parfaits you want."

Seita grinned, holding out his pinky. "Then mean it with a pinky shake!"

"Sure!" Grabbing the pinky with his own, they both shook their fingers up and down. "See ya later, kid." Bidding Hinowa and Seita a wave, he tailed after Tsukuyo, who was waiting for him at the entrance.

* * *

**Saya**: Well, what do you think? Send me a review on what you thought about this chapter. That'll help alot. And thanks for sticking this far again with the story. Don't worry, the action's just getting started (for all of you TakaXGin fans.) Also, the story's rating will bump up to M-Rated, because there will be a few surprises in there. Hehehe...


	4. Sex Ain't That Bad

**Saya**: I apologize for the long wait!! Homework has been taking up so much of my time, and writing a book doesn't add any stress-relief either! Anyway, I also discovered _Durarara!!_ which I have to say, is awesome.

**Disclaimer**: I don't the series _Gintama_, and if I did, I'd make it yaoi, with Gin as the uke all the time. (Haven't you noticed he mostly attracts guys than girls?)

**Warning**: Lemon-scented, and you'll have to find out who the pairing is. It's totally out of the blue too...

* * *

"Sex Ain't That Bad; It's Whom You're Having With"

"Are you sure this will make men think I'm attractive?"

"Since when are you so worried about appearances? Anyway, you look so beautiful, I'm jealous," Tsukuyo complimented, and pulling the curtain, revealed a man dressed in long, sky-blue kimono. A large bow was tied above his waist, and the kimono split to reveal his creamy legs.

"Sorry, we couldn't do anything about your hair. It just won't stay down," the blonde woman said, but Gintoki said that it was okay. "Anyway, we should get going. A huge regular is said to be there."

"Really now? Huh, I can't believe most men these days are turning gay."

"Yeah, but what can you do?" Tsukuyo led Gintoki towards a building called, "The Flamboyant Bar," where many people, particularly men, had their eyes stuck on Gintoki. Soon, a woman came up to them.

"You must be Tsukuyo and Sakata Gintoki," she said, and the two nodded. Studying Gin from head to toe, she said, "You're very attractive tonight sir."

"Thank you," Gin replied happily. "Tsukuyo, it's okay. I'll be fine on my own now."

"All right then," the ninja said, leaving the building.

"This is way please," the waitress told him, leading Gintoki to one of the cleaner, private rooms in the back. Opening the shoji screen door, it revealed a dim-lit room with a futon spread out neatly and a tray with two cups and a bottle of sake on it.

"If you want, you can serve another customer after this one," the girl suggested. "It's really up to you though."

Gintoki stared at her carefully, smiling, "I'll think about it." The escort squealed like a little schoolgirl, and bid the silver samurai goodbye, shutting the door. As Gin sat on the floor, a shadowed figure stood in front of the door.

"You can come in," the hustler informed his customer, and bowed his head. The door opened, and it revealed a young man with spiky hair that wore a long coat, headphones, boots, and sunglasses. For some reason, when he lifted his head to see the patron, Gin thought the other looked vaguely familiar, but can't remember where.

"So, you must be the newbie I heard about," Bansai said collectively. He recognized the silver samurai right on the dot, but simply hid it with a blank expression. "I have to say, you should be a regular worker, looking like that." However, he didn't deny the fact that the former friend of Takasugi looked very beautiful tonight.

"I'm just here to fill in a spot," Gin admitted honestly, waving his hand in denial. "This is the only night I'll be here."

*LEMON BEGINS*

Bansai smirked, raising an eyebrow. Soon, he removed his boots, entering the vanilla-scented room. Just watching the silver man act like that made him hot instantly. Sitting close to the man, he leaned in to get a whiff of that sugary scent that radiated off the samurai. "Really now? Well, I'll have to make this night extra special for you then."

Pushing the man down, their lips crashed together. Hands roamed all over the sinewy body, and Gin couldn't help but moan into the musician's mouth. Breaking the connection, Bansai stared at the body under him with lusty-filled eyes, blocked by his sunglasses.

"I thought it was my job to pleasure the client?"

"Personally, it doesn't matter, as long we both satisfied, right? You taste very sweet," the shamisen-player praised, as his hand untied the sash, revealing a wonderful view of the body.

"And in perfect shape too." Soon, the hand traveled downward to grope the manhood, earning a pleasurable moan from the silver courtesan.

"I wonder if you taste the same down here." Grabbing Gin's wrists together and pinning them on top of his head, Bansai slipped his hand inside the underwear, snatching the length.

"Ah!" Without thinking it, Gin thrust his hips up. The silver samurai never experienced this kind of thing, so he let his feelings overtake his common sense and reasoning, which was a good idea.

"Didn't know you were so eager for hand job," Bansai whispered lewdly into Sakata's ear. "Well, I'll give to you it then." He rubbed the hard-on at a painfully, slow pace, driving Gin crazy, who shifted side-to-side and bit his lip. His breaths became shallow and rapid, with his body heating up when Bansai quicken the pace.

"Ahhh!" Gin shouted, coming into the hand. Flushed, he closed his eyes, slowly regaining his thoughts. Sitting upright, the samurai pulled the tray with sake on it close to him, only to find arms snaking around his waist from behind.

"Master, I'm trying to pour us drinks," Gin reprimanded the customer. He didn't like the fact he was expected to call the man, "Master," but he agreed on all terms to do this one-night stand, so it was expected.

"Let's see if you can with all of my distractions," Otsu's manager said, as his hands massaged the tense back. Gin shivered at the coolness of those palms, and his hand was shaking violently while pouring them liquor. Then, one hand went down to play with a bud. Perking it with pinches and rolls, Gin accidently spilled his cup, leaving the customer's cup left. Even when Bansai's other hand wandered to the other nipple, Gin successfully poured a cup.

"Here you are Master," Gin said, and when he held out the cup, a hand grasped his, guiding the cup towards his lips. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not thirsty, but I'm sure you are. Don't waste it." Bansai tipped the cup, and Gin reluctantly drank it in one gulp. However, after consuming the drink, Gin felt really hot, panting heavily, and started to become hard.

Bansai merely observed the man with interested eyes. "The sake must have been spiked with an aphrodisiac. Not that I'm complaining," he remarked in a composed manner.

"You are a pervert, Master," Gin declared defiantly.

"Don't test me." Bansai left butterfly kisses that trailed from Gin's torso to his nether regions. The musician finally reached the hard length, and with his skilled tongue, he licked the leaking tip down the shaft before taking it whole in his mouth.

Gin flinched at the heavenly mouth. "Oh Kami..."

Bansai smirked, and bobbed his head up and down to see the escort squirm in absolute torture. With his free hands, they massaged his abs and found their way to the fully perked buds. Being stimulated at three different places just made Gin see white stars and hornier. Soon, Bansai accelerated the speed, and for the second time, the silver-haired man screamed as he came into the expecting mouth. His eyelids fluttered open before it became half-lidded with his chest rising up and down.

Swallowing the cum, he said, "Heh, that was quick." Bansai kissed Gin the lips chastely. "Now, for the main course." Before he could continued any further, a knock was heard, and he saw a shaded figure in front of the door.

*LEMON ENDS*

"Master, your ride has arrived," she informed the musician, much to his dismay. Dismissing the prostitute, Bansai cleaned himself up and put his boots on. Soon, he found Gin, now asleep, sprawled alluringly on the futon, but not wanting want anyone but him to see the samurai nude, he threw the blanket on the samurai.

"All right, I'd better get going." Bansai opened the entrance, and said with a smirk, "It was wonderful holding you, Sakata Gintoki."

* * *

With sunlight shinning extra brightly on him, Gin woke up with a pounding hangover. _Oh Kami, this is the worst headache ever!_ Holding his head tightly, he noticed that he was in a different room from last night. It was plain, and he was dressed in nightly clothing. The most important detail was that he didn't reek of sex; instead, he smelled of strawberries.

Getting up slowly, Gintoki walked downstairs to find Tsukuyo, Hinowa, and Seita eating breakfast.

Hinowa was the first one to notice his presence. "Good morning Gin-san! Did you have a good sleep last night?"

Scratching the back of his head, Gin replied groggily, "Yeah, but that sake I drank really got to me."

Hinowa set her cup of coffee down, wheeling over to the man. "Do you want some medicine for that hangover?"

Gin nodded, and the number escort led him towards the table. Sitting, he laid his head down, as Hinowa went through all the cabinets, and founded it in less than five minutes.

"Gin-san, are you okay?" Seita really looked worried, rubbing Gin's back lovingly. "I don't think you should go to the festival."

"Nah," Gin said, waving his hand disapprovingly. "I need to be there to do an important job."

"What? Pamper someone?" Tsukuyo teased merrily.

"Protecting the shogun," he replied, resulting the blonde woman spit her drink out, Seita drop his chopsticks, and Hinowa gaped.

"How in the world did you land that job?"

"The usual bodyguards came over the other day, and asked if I could fill in for them during the festival."

"Wow..." Hinowa snapped out of her daze, and went over to Gintoki with a cup of the hangover medicine. "Here you go," she said, and Gin, raising his head up, thanked her and gently took the cup, sipping it carefully.

"Well, we should get going now, since you're awake. Your clothes are upstairs, all clean and ready," Seita's mother said, before realizing something. "Oh, that's right!" Wheeling her way to the counter, she seized an object and tossed it to Gintoki, who caught it successfully. "That's a thank-you gift from the people you filled in for last night. Apparently, they thought you were so good with their number one regular, they offered a permanent job for you."

"That was a one-night stand. I don't I can handle being an employee there." Gin stared at present, which was mini aphrodisiac bottles, much to his shock. "What the hell am I supposed to do with these?"

"I don't know," Tsukuyo said, shrugging her shoulders. "You can give it away as gag present to someone. Anyway, you better get changed Gintoki."

"Okay, okay," Gin said lazily. "Oh yeah, Seita, we'll get some parfaits on the surface. Sound good?"

"Sure!" The brunette kid grinned as the freelancer ascended the stairs.

* * *

Yeah, that was really random, but not too far off. I mean, who hasn't imagine Bansai with the silver samurai. Anyway, R&R people! Sayonara!


	5. Fainting isn't for A Samurai

**Saya**: Okay, this story's plot bunny escaped its cage before I studied it thoroughly. Naturally, it returned. Ain't that great? Also, I read over the story and banged my head against the nearest wall. Why? I realized that there were so many plot and grammer errors everywhere. Man…Anyway, time to introduce our guest!

**Kamui**: Yo!

**Saya**: Thanks for coming down here.

**Kamui**: No problem. As long that fight with Samurai-san happens.

**Saya**: Well, we'll see how it goes. Now do the disclaimer!

**Kamui**: Saya doesn't own the series Gintama or its characters.

**Both**: Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**_Fainting isn't for Samurai. It's Also Not Polite to Talk about Sexual Preferences Behind Their Back._**

"Here we are," Gin said, parking his scooter into the back. His trio of guests stared in awe at his place he lives. Giving Hinowa a piggyback ride, the Yorozuya boss led them towards his shop and opened the door for Seita and Tsukuyo.

"Make yourselves at home," he instructed them, settling Hinowa on the couch.

"Thank you, Gin-san," Hinowa said, inspecting his place. "You have a lovely home."

"Huh? Oh, well, I try," the wavy-haired samurai responded, heading towards the refrigerator. "Does anyone want strawberry milk?"

"I'll take a glass," Tsukuyo said calmly, as the other two threw their hands in the air.

"Coming right up." Taking four glasses, he poured the sweet elixir until it was full. Handing each of his guests one, he took a seat in his swivel chair and sipped the holy drink. They enjoyed the peaceful silence until...

"Gin-san/Gin-chan?" Two people bursted through the entrance with bubbling excitement. They made their way towards the desk, slamming their hands down, and scared the crap out of the four people in the apartment.

"Why the hell are you yelling so loud in the morning?" Gin picked his ear with a pinky finger, as his assistants started rampaging.

"Because our boss doesn't get back from a 'short trip' until later in the morning? What the heck were you thinking Gin-san?" Shinpachi yelled at the bum, who simply ignored him.

"And you promised that you would help us out decorating for the festival!" Kagura scolded the grown man.

"Well, a lot of things happened yesterday, so if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to sleep. That stupid hangover won't go away Hinowa," Gin said, heading towards his bedroom and closing the door behind him silently.

Shinpachi and Kagura stared at the entrance, and finally greeted their guests lazily.

"Did we miss something?" The blonde woman asked the duo.

"Yeah, Gin-chan's acting-"

"Differently?" Hinowa suggested, and Kagura nodded furiously.

"Yeah! He's been doing really nice things for people, even the mean ones, and it's not like him to do it with his own money!"

"That is weird," Tsukuyo said, taking the pipe out of her mouth. "Even last night, he offered himself to fill in a spot at a brothel." She should have chosen her words wisely, or kept it closed, because the two teens were sent into a ballistic stage.

"What the hell? How did Gin-san end up working as an escort?"

"That's the thing. He said that he wanted to help us out, and that was it," Hinowa bluntly said.

"Don't you know that having him as a virgin boosted our ratings? Now we gonna end up falling, and it's all thanks to you agreeing to let him sell his body! You defiled our Gin-chan!" Kagura had fake tears running down her cheeks, and hugged Shinpachi tightly.

"We didn't ask him to do it. We even turned him down, but he was so persistent on doing it. He was even acting as a fatherly figure to Seita and-" She stopped in the middle of her rant when something loud came from Gin's room. Sneaking their way near the crack of the door, they peeked into the room to see Gin standing at the center of room, crying his eyes out.

"If only I wasn't born," he mumbled to himself. "If only I could have died then-!" He unleashed a powerful yet sorrow-filled scream that made everyone in all of Edo stop what they're doing. Finally, he collapsed onto the futon.

"Gintoki!" They all barged into his room, hoping nothing happened to the stupidest yet lovable samurai.

* * *

"He should be fine in a couple of hours," a doctor informed them about Sakata's condition. Apparently, the news spread out quickly and anyone who knew Gintoki was there, waiting outside his room in his apartment.

"Thankfully, it wasn't anything too serious. Just give Sakata-san plenty of sleep." With that said, the doctor left them to their thoughts. The wavy-haired samurai worried them all, and this was the first time Gintoki would do this.

"I can't believe Gin-san fell into a coma," Shinpachi was the first to break the awkward silence. "Whatever happened to the strong, lazy ass we knew?"

"I don't know Shin-chan," Otae replied. "I just wished he would go back to his old self. Even if I like this generous side of Gin-san, I miss the old one badly."

"We all do Shimura-san," Hijikata admitted, and that must mean a lot to the chain-smoker. "I feel like I don't know that bastard anymore."

"What did you think what went wrong with him in the first place?" Tsukuyo asked, taking a puff.

"He never told us a damn thing about himself," Kondo interjected. "He only worried about other people's problems, not his own."

"That's not healthy to keep all to yourself," Zenzo said, flipping the pages of his Jump.

"Hinowa-san, you were with him last, what do you think?" Shinpachi asked, and all eyes examined the courtesan.

Hinowa closed her eyes. "I'm sorry everyone," she said apologetically. "I wish I knew the answer."

"It's okay," Hasegawa said comfortingly. "Maybe he's just going through a phase."

"No," Captain Katsura said boldly. "I think I know exactly why Gintoki is acting this way."

Sougo threw the black-haired man a dirty look. "And how do you know? Were you his childhood friend or something?"

"No." Finally, the man took off his eyepatch, and said, "I'm Katsura Kotaro, and Sakata Gintoki is former Joui member."

Everyone, besides Shinpachi and Kagura, gasped and widened their eyes at the news. Not even the Shinsengumi couldn't find the heart to arrest the wanted criminal.

"You're joking, right Zura-chi?" Everyone didn't want to believe it, but when Katsura revealed an old photo of him, Gin, Takasugi, and Sakamoto in their Joui outfits, they simply couldn't believe it.

"Then why are you wanted by the government and not him? Explain that." Kyubei easily recovered from the surprise news.

"That's very simple: Gintoki abandoned us durning the final battle. He didn't want any more of this senseless bloodshed, and gave up. I really thought he was dead until I saw him later on," he illuminated.

"Okay, but that doesn't help us why he's acting this way," Otose said dully.

Katsura sighed, and said the most important clue of all: "Shouyou Yoshida."

* * *

Gin stirred in his futon before opening his eyes. _What the hell happened?_ Sitting upright cautiously, he rubbed his temples while regaining his senses.

"Shouyou Yoshida."

_That was Zura's voice._ Silently walking over to the door, he eavesdropped on the conversation in the other room.

"That radical? What does he have to do with the lazy bastard?" _What the hell is Hijikata-baka doing in there?_

"Shut up, I'm getting there. Anyway, the 'radical' was our beloved teacher who taught us the way of the samurai. To Gintoki, he was the most important figure in his life. No else but him revered Shouyou-sensei the most, and vice versa.

"Shouyou-sensei thought that Gintoki was the son he never had, and always put him first above everyone else. However, one day, the government then decided to threaten sensei, and taking away Gin wasn't a smart idea. Because of it, sensei was killed."

_I still recall that day vividly. I wanted to die on that day..._

"So, something must of triggered Gintoki to act this way, and the reason may be pointing to Shouyou-sensei. He might doing all of those deeds of kindness to distract him too."

_You're always right on the dot Zura._

"That's so-"

"Traumatic, I know, but if you were to tell Gintoki that you got this from me, I'll slice you up in half!"

"We won't, promise." _That's Seita for you._

"Anyway, care to explain why I heard a rumor that Gintoki got laid?" _What? Who the hell told you that bull?_

"Eh? Gin-san had *** with a *****? Oh, I'm so proud of him!" _What the hell are you supposed to be proud of?_

"Actually, he did it with a man." _Dammit woman! Why are telling them the truth?_

"...He's gay?" _No, I'm not gay! I thought the person I was escorting was a woman!_

"Wow, didn't know Danna swung that way." _No you got it all wrong, Okita-kun! I would never do it with a man, especially against my own will!_

"Even the owner wanted Gin-san to work as a regular there, and the janitor cleaning the room next to them heard Gin-san having a great time." _Don't you dare think I was enjoying that!_

"My ears are bleeding!"_ I'm not perverted Kagura-chan!_

"How much did he cost to have a one-night stand if he did stay there?" _Oh god, don't tell me-!_

"Why do you want to know Hijikata-san? Feeling something for Danna?"

"No-no! I'm just wondering how much he would cost to have *** with if he worked there?" _My worst nightmare is coming true!_

"Hm, I think he could have cost between ¥100,000,000 and ¥1,000,000,000. On top of that, he's still a virgin!" _Are you going to shout that private information to the whole world or something?_

"Wait, so Gin-san really didn't have *** with that stranger?" _Stop talking about my *** life you perverts!_

"No, but he did get a **** *** and a **** ***. I'm sad to say they didn't do it with our shop's finest ****** and *****. At least he and the patron were satisfied!" _Why are you so happy and proud of spilling the details about it?_

"Eh, is Hijikata-san all right?"

"It's okay, he's just having a major nosebleed after thinking ******* thoughts about Danna." _Nooo! Why did that demon had to be the one with a huge crush on me?_

"Oh! I bet Gin-san and Hijikata-san will **** and give each other **** ****!" _Why are you pairing me up with that bastard smoker? And why are you thinking lewd thoughts about us?_

"Nah, I think Gin will go great together with that man last night." _The hell man? Why do you say it with such a dreamy and confident voice?_

"No! Gin-san is mine, mine, mine!" _Technically, I was never yours to begin with you crazy stalker._

"I doubt he'll be straight as a stick after a one-night stand with a man." _I'm still straight as a California redwood dammit! I find Ketsuno Anna hot!_

"Well, anyway, we should get going. Though, I doubt Hijikata has zero chance with Danna. See ya!"

"Yeah, we need to get going. Come on Shin-chan!"

"Oh, my drama's starting now! Let's go Zenzo!"

"It's close to opening time!"

"Well, I need to get back to my wife. Bye!"

"Do you mind if we stay here for the night?"

"Nuh-uh! You guys can stay as long as you want!"

"Thank you very much." Soon, no words were followed by that, and when Gin peeked through the hole, he saw Seita and Hinowa watching television with Kagura while Tsukuyo was leaning against the wall.

_Well, now that the noise is gone, I can sleep._ Stretching his arms softly, he crawled his way to the futon, and slept in a placid manner, dreaming about all the sweets and parfaits he can eat.

* * *

"How was last night, Bansai?" Takasugi asked his loyal subordinate. "Did you have fun?"

The musician's mind filled itself with the images of Sakata Gintoki shifting under his weight were very arousing, but he controlled himself, responding, "It was all right, but I got stuck with a beginner."

Taking a toke of his pipe, Takasugi blew it out and said, "Really? You weren't the one being pleasured?"

"No, but I didn't mind do all the work."

"Was she attractive at least?"

"My escort was a he."

Takasugi raised an eyebrow. _Why would a pimp like him settle for a man?_

"If you were there in my place, you would have eaten him up on the spot." Bansai started to leave the deck, adjusting his headphones along the way.

"Oh?" Takasugi's curiousity peaked, really interested in knowing who his lower scored with. "Who was the courtesan?"

Bansai stopped walking, and turned around to say with a smirk, "Sakata Gintoki." Without further ado, he entered the elevator and disappeared behind the doors. Meanwhile, the smug smile on Takasugi's face was wiped clean.

"That explains why he was complaining about leaving," he uttered to himself. "It doesn't matter, Sakata Gintoki belongs to me, and me alone. Anyone who gets in the way can talk to my sword."

* * *

**Saya**: Sorry it's so random and out of control! T^T I hope you can forgive me! I really want to go back in time to update this story! But! I updated right? Dang, I'm so mad! I can't read Gintama on MangaFox anymore! It's so frustrating! Anyway, your reviews help! Thanks for reading!


	6. Don't Have Too Much Fun At the Festival

**Saya**: Hello! I'm really happy people sent constructive reviews. Also, it's going to be a yaoi. The chapter is going to be action-packed, changing from one scene to another. I hope you don't mind. Now, let's get to the special guest! The awesome and beautiful Tsukuyo!

**Tsukuyo**: Thanks for invitin' me here.

**Saya**: It's always an honor to have a badass ninja here.

**Tsukuyo**: Glad you think so.

**Saya**: Anyway, I always wanted to do this: Q&A with the Special Guests! I hope you don't mind. Some of the questions are from the fans as well.

**Tsukuyo**: Go ahead.

**Saya**: From Tsukuyo's #1 Fan: Do you like Gintoki? *Kunai stabs her in the head*

**Tsukuyo**: Remember not to read too closely to the computer. Saya doesn't own the series Gintama or its characters. It's created by Sorachi-sensei. Ja.

* * *

**_Don't Have Too Much Fun At The Festival_**

"This is uniform is itchy," a certain samurai complained.

"Sorry Sakata-san," a woman informed kindly, "but it was Shogun's orders.

"His bodyguards wear uniforms to distinct themselves from regular guards of the palace. Besides, this was especially made for you," another woman said.

Gin tugged at the long sleeve of his white kimono. "Well, at least it doesn't make me look like an idiot." His hand went up to the adornment on top of his head, poking at it with annoyance, and said, "But did you really have to include a helmet too?"

"Sorry Sakata-san, but you must wear the uniform as a whole," the first dresser said. "At least the uniform compliments you."

_She does have a point there._ Gin glanced downward to see his legs covered with navy-blue pants that had the ballooning effect. A cobalt sash was tied around his waist, with his trusty wooden sword hanging at his side. Numerous protective guards were placed almost all over his body.

"Anyway, the Shogun sends his thanks with this gift," the attendant said merrily, handing a sheathed katana. "We shall be seeing you later this evening!" Soon, they left the shop, and right on cue, the others walked in to see Gintoki taking his helmet off.

Otae clasped her hands together. "Wow! The uniform makes you so–"

"Mature-looking." Tsukuyo finished her sentence. "I have to say, it makes the kimono you wore the other night hanging in shame."

"Really?" Gin scratched his head. "I kinda wanted to wear my usual clothes. This suit is overdoing it."

"You look fine Gin-san," Shinpachi commented. "Besides, you have to wear that all day."

"Eh? I thought I was supposed to fitted this, wasn't I?"

"Actually," Kagura chipped in. "The lady told us to tell you that you must wear this the whole day."

"Aw! That sucks! Don't people know this is perfect for Sengoku Basara?"

"Well, I'm not complaining in the least." Hinowa giggled with a smile. "I think you should wear this outfit all the time."

"Maybe on special occasions, but not all the time! You know how long it would take to clean this?"

Kyubei cut in, "I can see your point, but it's a warrior's job to take care of that monkey suit."

"See? Even Kyubei-san agrees with me!"

"At any rate, we should get going," Shinpachi said, glancing at the clock. "We wouldn't want to miss helping out with the festival."

"Okay, okay." Gintoki headed towards the door, followed by the others. The sun was now setting on the horizon, and the paper lanterns began to lit the streets. Multiple booths were finishing the final touches, and the citizens were flooding in.

"Well, well. I didn't expect to see you in an uniform," Hijikata taunted, smirking.

"Shut up," Gin said irritatedly. "At least I get paid for doing this, unlike some people I know." Soon, the two ended up in a verbal fight, where most of their friends watched in amusement instead of breaking them up.

"Who has the popcorn?" The straight man asked bluntly.

"I do! Here!" Kagura tossed the bag, only to hit Shinpachi in the face.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Oh whoops, I thought it was your hand."

"How can you mistake my head for a hand!"

"Hey!" A loud voice gained everyone's attention, stopping Hijikata and Gintoki fighting, along with Shinpachi and Kagura. Gin recognized the same woman from this morning, and she was standing there, tapping her foot angrily.

"Sorry," Gin apologized, brushing the dirt off his uniform. "Is it time already?"

The attendant sighed. "Yes, it is Sakata-san. Now, if you'll follow me." She started to walk away, but before the wavy-haired man tailed behind her, Seita stopped him.

Gin bent down to stare eye-to-eye with the brunette. "What the matter kid?"

"You promised that we would hang out this festival, and the parfait," Seita blurted out. "When is that going to happen? Or was it a lie?"

Gin sighed, then ruffled the mess of hair. "A samurai always keeps his promises, and I promise that I'll buy you the best parfait ever." With a smile, he got up and bid his friends, "See ya later!" He caught up with the girl, who had a cheery expression.

"You are a very sweet man," the attendant said happily. "I hardly see your kind this day and age."

"I only turned out this way because I have friends like that," he said, glancing over his shoulders to see them laughing at Shinpachi, whose hair was lit on fire. Smiling, he looked forward, saying, "Anyway, all I have to do tonight is guard the Shogun right?"

"And that nothing harms him as well."

"Great to hear that," he said sarcastically.

The woman chuckled. "Don't worry, you'll do fine as his bodyguard. You may be hired full-time after this job."

"Nah," Gintoki told her. "I like my job right now."

"And why is that?"

"Because–" He glanced once more over his shoulder, to see the rest of his friends fighting among themselves over the last bag of popcorn and saw their smiling faces. "My friends and clients like them only come once in a lifetime."

"How wonderful to hear," she said dreamingly. "I envy your girlfriend."

"Uh, I'm actually single."

"Really? I'm surprised no woman would want a great man like yourself."

An image of the ninja masochist flashed in his mind, and he said, "I prefer being single."

After a few minutes of walking, they arrived at the gates of the imperial palace. The double doors opened, revealing the shogun in all of his glory. The wavy-haired samurai thanked kami that he was dressed and had a full head of hair.

"Looking good sir," his attendant complimented, bowing her head. When she lifted her head, she introduced the bodyguard for the night. "This is Sakata Gintoki, your bodyguard for the evening."

"Yo, Shogun-sama! Happy birthday!" The samurai bowed his head, then lifted his head back up. "Thanks for the sword too."

The shogun nodded happily. "I am glad you loved the present, and don't be so formal. Call me, 'Sho-kun' if you want."

"Okay, Sho-kun!"

The shogun chuckled. "I like your spirit. Well, let's enjoy this festival, shall we?"

As the shogun and his bodyguard strolled through the streets, the booths made it noisy with fun. As Gin aided the man with some of the games, the gang spied on them from afar.

"Isn't this a little too much? I mean, yes, we're all concerned about Gin-san, but isn't it another thing to spy on him?" Shinpachi asked the group.

"No! What if something happens to Gin-chan while he's protecting Sho-chan? We need to be there if he's danger!" Kagura yelled proudly, snacking on her takoyaki. The herd moved behind a shooting booth, where the Shogun and Gin are shooting for prizes

"Sakata-san, are all these games violent?"

"No, not all of them Sho-kun. There's goldfish scooping," the white-haired man said. "Though, what's game where's no possibilities of not getting hurt?"

Shogun said, "That's true. Excuse me, can you give this man a rifle?" The caretaker of the booth gave the shogun and Gintoki each a rifle, saying that they both have ten bullets to shoot one of the prizes.

"You go first Sho-kun," Gin said. "It's your birthday today."

"All right then," the military leader said. "I'll go for that one!" He pointed at a teddy bear. Steadily, he aimed his rifle carefully and fired. Sadly, the bullet missed the target by a lot, not that the caretaker would point out.

"I'll get it for you Sho-kun," Gin said, and fired away, only to miss.

"You missed it!"

Gin smiled mischievously. "Did I?"

Meanwhile, Hijikata almost fainted because a bullet barely passed over his head. If he was any higher, his head would have popped.

_Does this guy know we're here?_ Soon, more bullets followed, narrowly hitting the gang behind the booth.

"Okay, this is your last one sir," Gin said to Sho-kun, who aimed his gun carefully at the bear. Shooting, it missed, but hit another target instead.

"AHHH!" A loud scream was heard from behind the booth, and Hijikata came out running like a maniac, with blood dripping down from his forehead.

_Good aim Sho-kun._ Gin fired his last one, and got the teddy bear, handing to the shogun. "Let's see," he said, "how do you feel like scooping for some goldfish?"

For the rest of time, the duo did numerous of games, from scooping the fish to toss-a-ring to archery. However, it wasn't a great time for the others, who were constantly following after them, and they paid for it by being injured numerous times. Especially the demon vice-captain and Shinpachi. Seita, Otae, Hinowa, and Kyubei went through the night without gaining a single one though.

Now, the shogun and Gintoki were at a noodle shop, where they were eating all the udon they want. At a separate table, the gang plotted what they were going to do next.

"Gin-san obviously knows that we're following them! I think it's better if we left them alone."

"No way!" Kagura said, slurping her ramen down. With a loud burp, she said, "I don't want Gin-chan get hit by the Sho-chan."

"Uh, Kagura-chan," Otae intervened. "The imperial lord wasn't flirting with Gin-san though."

"But every time Gin-chan is with guys, he's bound to get hit by guys. And this is no different!"

"For some strange reason, you have a point."

"This is why he isn't popular with the girls," the Yato girl said.

"Though Danna looks like the type that's desperate to get laid," Sougo said, chewing on some pork. "Then again, this is Danna we're talking about."

"Gin-san is staying a virgin until I get into bed with him!" Zenzo had to hold back Sa-chan to prevent any more destruction and chaos.

"Sorry lady, but you're not getting into bed looking like that," Hijikata said, taking a puff of his cancer stick. The perverted ninja had an afro with her glasses were cracked with many bruises and cuts on her body.

"At least I don't look like a friggin' mummy!" It's true: the demon vice captain, from head-to-toe, he was wrapped in numerous bandages, and it didn't help that it was all white too.

"Well, what's are strategy now, Otae-san?" Kondo tried to scoot closer to her, Kyubei punched him in the face.

"Sorry, I thought there was a bug," she made up, sitting next to her childhood friend.

"I think it would be best to enjoy the rest of the festival without shadowing them," Hinowa said calmly. "Besides, Gin-san said that we should try to have fun without worrying him."

Kagura looked gloomy. "Still–"

"Kagura-chan, I think it might be for the best," Shinpachi said, standing up to brush the dust off his pants. "In any case, I'm going to try find a spot for us to watch the fireworks." The straight man soon left the group before they followed him.

Gin peeked over his shoulder, and saw his friends leaving the noodle shop area. Turning back to his food, he wolfed what's left of his bowl and let out a sigh of satisfaction.

"Better?"

"Yeah, I haven't a good meal like that since a long time."

"Me neither." The shogun drank the soup, and burped. "How would you like to work as a full-time bodyguard for me?"

Gin gaped his mouth wide open. "Are-are you serious?"

Sho-kun nodded. "Yes, you are much better than the bodyguards I used to have. Don't worry, it won't take your time away from your Yorozuya shop."

Gin settled his chopsticks down, as the shogun's words repeated themselves in his head. "I'll think about it. For now, let's enjoy the rest of festival."

The shogun nodded, and followed the samurai. As they found a spot, the shogun sat down while Gin preferred to stand. Soon, one by one, the lights went out, and the whole city went black within ten minutes.

_Boom!_ A fire cracker exploded in the air, making a smiley face in the air.

_Bam! Boom!_ Two fire crackers went off in the air, making little lights fall and shimmering sounds was heard.

_Boom, boom, boom!_ Three of the fireworks were set, and created a sakura flower, which impressed everyone of Edo who were watching.

"Nice fireworks aren't they?" Gin's blood froze, not looking up anymore, but turning around to see that smug face again.

_"You!"_ Gin pulled his sword, and before he could slice Takasugi in half, his target disappeared. _Where did that bastard-_

The screams of the citizens interrupted his thoughts, as he looked down to see multiple ronin scaring their prey. Soon, a huge spaceship descended from the sky, but the worst was that the Harusame Pirates logo was on its side.

"Let the downfall of Edo begin."

* * *

**Saya**: Okay, I hope you like it! I haven't updated for so long! Homework sucks! I apologize for being so late! See you next time!


	7. When The Enemies Join Forces

**Saya**: Yo. I'm back. With so much energy in me now. Gintama's coming back soon! Let's party!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the series Gintama. Otherwise, I'd reveal Gintoki's sensei's face. I really want to know his past! I mean his true past!

* * *

_**You Know You're Doomed When The Enemies Form A Team**_

Aliens, big and small, jumped off from their ships. They blasted the poor, defenseless citizens with their gigantic firearms. Some other aliens brought out swords, clubs, and the list of weapons goes on.

There was one person wasn't screaming at the top of their lungs. No, this person got angrier by the minute. Drawing his wooden sword and pointing both of his weapons at his new target, he passed by the shogun and told, "Run to a safe place!"

"What? And abandon my bodyguard?"

"In this situation, yes!"

"Well, that's not happening," the shogun said, and brought something Gintoki would never expect the ruler of Japan to have: a hidden katana. "I shall be fighting alongside you!"

"Where exactly have you been hiding that Sho-kun! Unless you have a pocket like Doraemon! Or were part of Team Rocket!"

The shogun smirked, saying, "A warrior is always prepared for attacks."

Gin remembered that the guy was a military strategist and smirked. "Then don't blame me when you die!"

* * *

"Where are they coming from?" Hijikata yelled, drawing his sword to block an alien's attack.

"How should I know Toshi!" Kondo slashed away, barraging through tons of enemies. Even the gorilla can be badass at times.

The rest of the Shinsengumi kept the Harusame Pirates at bay. However, more and more arrived from incoming ships. Luckily, a bazooka appeared and blasted the enemies away! The demon vice-captain smiled at the arrival.

Kondo smiled, yelling, "About time you got here, Sougo!"

Chewing a caramel apple, the brown-haired sadist swallowed it before speaking. "I couldn't let you hog the glory. I need some too."

"You're already popular with the fans!" Hijikata shouted angrily. "Give some of us characters a chance to shine bastard!"

A sadistic smile appeared Okita's face, and he said evilly, "We can't have that can we?"

"Are you ignoring us!" The trio found themselves surrounded by alien pirates. Instead of showing fear, they charged towards them, screaming their heads off. They cut down all who stood in their way. Blood splattered on their uniform, but they didn't give a damn.

"I hope we'll have another festival soon," Sougo said in a deadpan voice.

"Are you kidding?" Kondo flicked his blade to remove the blood off. "I'm having the best time!"

"At least we have some screen time action." Hijikata pulled out a cigarette from his jacket, lighting it with his mayonnaise-shaped lighter.

Meanwhile, the few who survived trembled. They saw thousands of their comrades be slain by the Shinsengumi. Honestly, they thought they had no chance of winning...

Until–

"That was unexpectedly fast." The Shinsengumi saw a man in a purple kimono, with yellow butterflies decorated on it. He was walking towards them with no expression, but recognized his face when the moon shined on him.

"Takasugi…Shinsuke!" Kondo exclaimed in confusion. They never encountered the man, but have heard of rumors that he was quite dangerous. And after Katsura revealed that he, Gin, and that man used to train together…

Hijikata narrowed his eyebrows. "What the hell is that bastard doing here?"

"That's a bit mean," the terrorist commented, stopping in his walk. Raising his pipe to his face, a wide smile stretched across his pale face. "Can't a man enjoy festivals?"

"Not on my watch!" The demon vice captain plowed his way through the aliens. He was getting closer, and lifted his sword into the air–

"I don't have time to play swords with you." The terrorist reappeared behind him. Blood exploded into the air.

"Toshi!"

The commander and first captain watched as the vice captain fell the ground. A pool of blood grew under the body. Takasugi looked down at him with no sympathy. He turned his attention to the others. Sougo's expression sobered up, tossing away his candy apple.

"Oi, terrorist-san. You can't kill him. He's my prey." The first captain fired up his bazooka and a beam blasted, heading towards the black-haired man's way. Nothing was left when the smoke cleared.

_Stab!_

His eyes widened, and he looked down to see a sword coming out of his stomach. Coughing up blood, his body slumped forward. The sword was pulled out of him, and its wielder licked the red-stained weapon.

"Kids like you should stay home when we adults battle."

"Sougo!" He tried to defend himself, but Takasugi was too fast. Color vanished from his sight as their enemy pierced him.

"Your far beyond centuries to challenge me."

* * *

"Has anyone seen Gin-chan or Sho-kun!"

Kagura swiftly kicked away two aliens away from unknown people. Meanwhile, Tsukuyo defended Seita and Hinowa from the growing horde of aliens. Kyubei and Shinpachi busied themselves, protecting Otae from bulky-looking aliens. The ninja duo, Sa-chan and Zenzo, escorted what's left of the citizens away from the battles.

"No!" Shinpachi yelled, blocking an attack from a sword-wielding, green alien. "This is bad! We're outnumbered!"

"No kidding," Tsukuyo added, throwing dozens of kunai at the pirates. She looked up, and saw more aliens dropping like bombs. "There's no end to them!"

_Boom!_ Aliens flew into air, and everyone widened their eyes.

"Katsura-san!" Shinpachi saw the long-haired ronin with Elizabeth and Hasegawa. Suddenly, aliens appeared behind the trio, and raised their weapons into the air–

"Saburo! Go nuts!"

"Roger."

_Boom!_ A beam shot from a cannon, moving towards the mass of aliens and obliterating them into the sky. Shinpachi and Kagura smiled happily.

"Am I late for the festival?" Kabuki District's mechanic ordered his army of robots to blast away, and the gang immediately ran towards their ally. Behind the robots, the gang regrouped and strategized their next move. Katsura and Elizabeth helped out, throwing time bombs at the enemy.

"We need to find Gin-san fast," Shinpachi told everyone. "We're doomed if he's not with us."

"Also, we have to make sure the shogun is safe as well," Hasegawa pointed out, and everyone agreed that was their most important task. Before they escaped, their ears heard large clanking. One by one, the robots fell to the ground and dust blinded their sight.

"Oh, so this is where all of you were hiding," a soft voice spoke. Shinpachi, Kagura, and Seita immediately knew who defeated the robots.

"Kamui!" His little sister roared with anger, and the straight man held her back. "I'm gonna to rip you to shreds!"

"That's nice to hear," he said, calmly walking towards them. "However, we have to postpone that to a later date." The Yato teen moved quickly, kicking Kagura in the stomach. The two flew into a booth, and they rubbed their heads.

"Run!" Shinpachi yelled, "Get away from here now!" Before the others budged an inch, the humanoid alien appeared in front of them. Suddenly, a sadistic smile appeared and blue eyes revealed themselves.

"Try to resist, and I won't hesitate to kill you."

Tsukuyo made the first move, throwing kunai daggers at the Harusame captain. However, the Yato boy caught one and deflected them all. Being raised as a ninja, Tsukuyo used this distraction to attack him.

"Yowai." He ducked down, and kicked the blonde woman upward. She went up into the air, and he jumped to deliver a hard punch to the guts. Blood erupted from Tsukuyo's mouth, and crashed down to create a crater. Her body ached only from two blows, and that wasn't a good sign.

"Anyone else?" His eyes closed again as a gentle, but fake smile returned. The others paled, and couldn't believe that he was Kagura's older brother.

"All of you follow me. You're gonna witness the birth of demon once more."

* * *

The duo started slicing the enemy away, though Gin landed more hits than the shogun. However, they were outnumbered. Gin knew he couldn't take them on, especially with the shogun in his care. Also, his uniform was weighing him down. Time to take it off!

"Sorry Sho-kun, but the uniform's gotta go!"

"Eh?"

The shogun watched the samurai discard the heavy armor, reduced to his normal outfit. Thank god for the little things. Picking up the sword, he flew through the crowd of aliens and slashed through them. The Harasume Pirates were too stunned to move. They watched the white-haired samurai take down more of their allies. Meanwhile, Gintoki returned to the emperor's side. Blood stained his outfit, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Oi, Sho-kun. We need to run. Like hell. Before we're caught." The shogun didn't like the idea. His family never ran from anything. However, looking at their grave situation, he made it an exception.

"All right. But this will be the only time!"

The duo ran away from the hoard of aliens. They followed after them, but they were too slow to catch up. Running through the forest, the two men headed for shelter. Gintoki's main job was to protect the shogun. If the alien pirates capture him, Edo is doomed. His eyes widened at a sudden realization.

"My friends–"

"Are here Gintoki."

* * *

**Saya**: This is mostly build-up. Besides, I can gurantee that the next part will blow your brains. Promise. If you have any comments or complaints, please put them in the review section! Thanks! See ya later!


	8. The End…?

**Saya**: This was probably the most difficult chapter I ever written. That said, I give you the last chapter!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gintama. Not enough money to own the series.

* * *

Gin's eyes widened. His worst nightmare has come true. Why couldn't it stay in his nightmares!? Why did have to come true!? Didn't he do a lot of bad things in life and received punishment for it!? Okay, he started to sound like a masochist. He was a sadist, a S dammit! Here, the source of his troubles this past month, is in the flesh. With his Kiheitai and Harusame Pirates behind him. Takasugi Shinsuke. Oh, how the silver-haired man wanted to break that wooden pipe in half. And he would have if _his friends_ weren't rounded up before him and the shogun. Almost everyone had some kind of injuries. It took every ounce of his self-control not to let his Shiroyasha personality take over. The light in his eyes turned crimson.

"You–You bastard!"

The black-haired terrorist remained calm, taking a puff. Takasugi walked past the hostages, and stood before Gin. He knew his former comrade wouldn't pull any moves as long his friends were in danger.

"This is what happens when your nakama grows Gintoki."

"Then what do you call those people behind you?!"

"Mere allies. We share the same ideals," the one-eyed man replied. "But we have no emotional ties. That's the difference between you and me." Ready to slice the bastard up, footsteps were approaching behind the shogun. Turning around, his anger flared to a new level.

"Yo, samurai-san." It was Kamui. Gin's anger grew as he saw the Yato male dragging unconscious Kagura and Tsukuyo in his hands. Blood coated his body. He jumped into the air, and landed near Takasugi. Dropping the two women, he licked some blood from his fingers.

"That was your own sister!"

"Hm?" Kamui tilted his head, keeping his eyes closed. "My sister? I cut all family ties since that man couldn't even kill his own son."

The terrorist let out a chuckle. "A batshit crazy idiot."

Before his eyes, Gin was in the air and ready to attack. Takasugi smirked, drawing his sword out and blocking the silver samurai's attack. They attacked each other ruthlessly. Neither one flinched when they received a wound. The former Joui crackled while fighting the man.

"That's right Gintoki. Go back to the way you were. When you weren't swayed by emotions. When you lusted for blood! When blood stained you from head to toe!"

Gin screamed at the top of his lungs, bringing his sword down.

"Gin-san!"

The silver samurai froze in his attack. Violent images of the war slaughtered his mind. He jumped back to the shogun, and felt something tugging his pants.

"Seita," he called. He looked behind Sho-chan, and saw Shinpachi panting for air.

"Oya, Gintoki." Takasugi walked towards the resistance, flicking his sword as the blood splattered on the ground. "Letting a kid wander into a battlefield. Isn't that against your bushido code?"

Gin felt his parental instincts take over and wrapped his arm around the kid. He wasn't going to let Hinowa's son hurt. That woman and her crazy ninja bodyguard would never forgive him, along with the women of Yoshiwara.

Takasugi stopped, with only a foot of space between him and Gin. He sheathed his sword, and eyed the little resistance. He wondered why the silver samurai thought these people were precious to him, laughing at the man's current situation. Those same people brought Gintoki to a horrible problem.

"What do you want Takasugi?!" Gin shouted. He scolded himself in his mind. He shouldn't get angry. One wrong move, and his friends were screwed. His grip on Seita tightened. Was it the shogun the enemy needed?

Takasugi smiled and walked towards his former friend. He leaned in, whispering something into Gin's ear. Crimson eyes widened. What kind of deal…? No. He absolutely refused to do it. That was a new low. The low of lows. A growl escaping gritted teeth. Seita shut his eyes tight, hoping this nightmare will be gone.

Soft groans emitted from a small Yato girl. Kagura sat upright in a slow manner, putting her hand against her forehead. With her blood pressure rising, she opened her eyes. They widened the moment they spotted silver hair.

"Gin-cha–"

A hand grabbed her head and smashed her into the ground. She looked up, hissing the alien's name.

_"Kamui!"_

"That was fast. I didn't expect you to wake up."

Kagura struggled from her brother's grip, but stopped when more pressure was applied to her head.

"Now behave." Kamui's mouth curved up, and evil intent lit up in his blue eyes. "A demon is being reborn again." She didn't know what those words mean. Her eyes went back to Gin, whose eyes were hidden by silver bangs. His hand clenched the sword, making it shake. His body followed the same motion.

Gin took a deep breath and stilled his body. Anger that boiled at the pit of his stomach soothed away. His common sense was back, taking in what Takasugi said to him.

"Takasugi."

"Yes?"

_Slash!_

"Urgh…" The one-eyed man stumbled, but regained his composure. He glared at the silver samurai. Those crimson eyes…They burned with hellfire.

"You really think I'll take that up that stupid request of yours," Gin spat, approaching his former friend. Holding his sword at attack position, he stopped when he was five feet away from the terrorist. "You're dumber than you look! Also, take a good look behind you!" The terrorist raised an eyebrow. He turned around and held in a gasp.

"Defend Gintoki's name!"

"I thought his name was Kintoki! A-ha-ha-ha!"

Takasugi scowled, watching the Jouishishi and the Kaientai retaliate against the Harusame Pirates. Naturally, his Kiheitai held their own against the two combined forces. He turned around to look at the silver samurai.

"You really think I would come to a battle alone?" A grin plastered on Gin's face. He charged towards the one-eyed man. The two locked swords and glared at each other. They both backed away and exchanged blows with each other. Only minutes passed before the skilled samurai nearly reached their limit.

"Not bad. I guess you really haven't lost your edge," Takasugi said. Knowing when a defeat is adamant, he drew back and rallied his forces together. As they retreated to a helicopter above them, the one-eyed demon took one last look at the silver samurai.

"See you, samurai baka."

…

…

…

"What the hell is this!?"

Everything came to a halt at the sound of Gin's voice. The silver samurai glared at the director (Saya), who nervously shifted her eyes.

"Oi, director! I know you wanted to write stupid yaoi!" Gintoki stomped towards Saya and stopped until he was in her personal space. "What the hell is with this crappy ending!? You lack the consistency of the story!" The director, almost ready to cry, held her hands up to prepare herself from another verbal attack.

"Ah, I'm sorry! It's been so long since I've written Gintama fan fiction!"

"And I was already involved with the fighting in chapter six," Katsura added. He held a finger up. "You should have looked at the script more carefully!"

"I know right? I'm only doing this because it sounded fun, but this is getting out of hand!" Sakamoto concluded with his familiar laugh.

"I do not have a thing for that stupid Yorozuya!" Hijikata joined Gintoki on the verbal lashing. Sougo shook his head, holding his hands up.

"Well, she did accurately depicted you right in the last battle. You are weak." The sadist dodged a blade that almost slashed through his stomach. He pulled out a bazooka from the props table and aimed it at the Shinsengumi vice commander. Shinpachi got in between them.

"Oi! What are the two of you doing!? Those are real weapons!"

"Doesn't matter as long I can slice up this little bastard!" Hijikata yelled, jumping up and stepping on Megane's head. He landed behind Sougo and engaged in a fight with his coworker. Kondo tried to stop them, but his shouting didn't get to them.

The studio ended in chaos. The prop sets were on fire. Actors threatening to have more screen time or they'll leave the fan fiction. The director running away from the two main actors, Gin and Takasugi, and screaming for dear life.

Then, double doors burst open. Everything came to a halt. All of the people looked at the new arrival.

"How is the shoot going?" Two voices spoke at the same time.

"What is this!? War-san and Ner-san!? Are you trying to break reality!?" Shinpachi yelled.

"Ah, boss," Saya weakly called. "The shoot didn't come out so well…" The two brothers hummed before snapping their fingers.

"Redo the whole thing and we'll triple everyone's salary." The bosses didn't hear it, but a "Ding!" sounded echoed in everyone's heads. Saya, however, seemed reluctant about the new situation. She didn't want to direct this fan fiction story anymore. Ready to give up, a hand stretched towards her. Looking up, it belonged to Gin.

"Even though this is a yaoi thing, things have to be seen till the end. Come on director-san."

Saya burst into tears and nodded, taking his hand. The cast of Gintama, along with the behind-the-scenes crew, lined up.

"Thank you for reading until the end!" Saya beamed and held up a poster paper.

"Please read the rewrite: Get A New Hobby You Bastard! I promise it'll be better than this one!"

* * *

**Saya**: …Yes, I seriously did that. Breaking the fourth wall is always required for a Gintama fan fiction story! (Don't kill me!) Nothing was coming to my head until I re-watched the ending of Gintama: The Movie. So yeah…shameless promotion! Thanks for sticking to the end! I love you all!


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